Life Support

Kerry Tittle

Kerry Tittle

Founder, Refined Family

Kerry Tittle is a mother of 10 children and a 20+-year homeschool veteran. She is the founder of Refined Family. Her desire is to honor Christ while comforting others with the comfort she has received from the Lord. 

This morning an odd prayer escaped while I was pouring coffee.

“Lord, how much longer must I be on this spiritual life support?”

I was surprised that came from me.  Was that really what was tucked away in my heart?  I was instantly flooded with regret for the thought.  But certainly He knows my desire to have Him breathe life back in to me! 

Trials can often extract any joy or even physical stamina from our lives.  It can leave us feeling empty and often without purpose.  Our hearts are prone to fail.

Recently, I have felt the need to go overboard at trying to appear as if I’ve “been healed” since the event that changed my life has been almost four years now.   I suppose people expect that I am walking in a new phase now.  I just desperately want Christ to give me more “life” so I can accurately play the part.

Then I began to ponder the Word “life”.  Scripture alludes to it often.

Psalm 36:9

For with you is the fountain of life; in your light do we see light.

Job 10:12

You have granted me life and steadfast love, and your care has preserved my spirit.
Regularly, my heart becomes weighed down and I am wanting to be revived.   I struggle daily with the fear that my earthly life will always be this way.  At times that thought will dominate and I will forget about the joy that is set before me.

But today it occurred to me (after my moment of regret) as I looked back on the journey of these last four years: my story is a heap – a heap of grace upon grace upon grace.  He has held me.  He has sustained me.  What is more, He has changed my LIFE. He was constantly the “PICC line” that kept my failing heart turning back to Him.  That very heart has been changed to love differently and will never be the same.

How could I possibly ask for more?  He is the Vine and I am the branches, without Him I will surely perish.  Why would I NOT want to be on His life support?

“Oh Lord, YOU ARE the only One, that has words of eternal life!”  If I live the rest of my earthly life struggling to hold the pieces of an unmended heart, then there is no other I would want to have my life support hooked up to.  He gives Life.  He changes life.  He IS life.

Psalm 63:3

Because your steadfast love is better than life, my lips will praise you.

John 6:47

Truly, truly, I say to you, whoever believes has eternal life.
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